The recent events of the unfathomable Las Vegas shootings have left many in shock, bewildered and even wondering what next? Will this happen to me? Some may feel more anxious, others more fearful and others trying to hold onto the amazing and heroic acts of so many. No matter where you are in processing this tragic event, below are 7 tips to guide you as you help your children to process this truly tragic event.
- Recognize your emotions. Are you feeling more anxious? Are you angry? Fearful? Sad? Allow yourself to grieve and work through your own emotions. However, it will be important to calm yourself. Your children will feed off of your emotional energy. So if you are anxious, they will be anxious.
- Allow, even encourage, your children to express their emotions. Provide your children with a safe and secure environment to release their feelings. Their pain will lessen the more they are able to feel their feelings and know it is acceptable to do so.
- Provide creative outlets for your child to release their emotions. Coloring, running outside, singing or listening to music are some ideas that will provide opportunities for your child to express their feelings in a safe and non-threatening manner.
- Recognize there are many different coping styles. Children, as we all do, tend to express their grief in ways that are in alignment with their overall core temperament and personality style. Some children will cry, some will show anger, others will withdrawal, some may show regressive tendencies and some may express their anxiety or grief through “acting out” behaviors. It is important to help a child to release their feelings in a healthy and acceptable manner. Although some behaviors may be unacceptable, the emotion should always be accepted.
- Comfort your child. Children need to feel loved more than ever during fearful and highly anxious times. There is nothing like a good ol’ bear hug to help your child feel safe and secure. Physical touch such as holding your child, rubbing their back, or simply snuggling together can be very soothing, helping your child (as well as yourself) to relieve stress and anxiety.
- Listen to your child. Give your child your full attention when they are talking to you. Many children will want to talk about what happened many times over. It is important not to get frustrated with your child. This is one of many coping mechanisms and will help your child to process what has happened and will help them to deal with their pain
- Answer children’s questions honestly with age appropriate responses. The younger the child, the simpler and limited responses, the better. There is no reason to share details that could paint a grim picture of the tragic event. Your child will let you know if they are not satisfied with your response by asking more questions.
My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to each victim as well as their family and friends!