Iphones, androids, Ipads, pc’s, macs, gaming devices, nanos, nooks and kindles. Facebook, twitter, linked-in, instagram and pinterest. We are surrounded by technology……it’s in our homes, our schools, our workplace, our cars, and in our pockets and purses. We are more connected today than we have been at any other time …..or are we? Yes, you may be connected to 1,000 friends (and counting) on Facebook and you may have a business distribution list that makes others envious…. but…what daily connections do you make with your most valuable asset, that of your children?
Many parents are so plugged in that they are actually disconnected – disconnected to the needs of their children; to what is happening in their children’s lives and most importantly to the parent/child relationship that our children(and yes, our teens, too!) desperately yearn to have and need. Research has shown that in order for a child to thrive (and be more willing to cooperate) in today’s globally connected world, it is critical that we first get down to basics to create and maintain a strong connection with the children in our lives right in our own backyard.
One of the most common parental complaints and frustrations that I hear is the lack of cooperation or “acting out” behavior parents feel they have to deal with on a daily basis. As Pam Leo, author ofConnection Parenting, so eloquently stated, “the level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of connection children feel with their parents.”
An important question for parents to ask themselves is, how do you spend time with your children when you are at home, out to dinner, at the park, on vacation or even driving in the car together? You may be sitting down to the “family dinner” but is the TV on? Have cell phones and DS’s become an added addition to your place settings and are your children alternating between biting, chewing and clicking?
My heart broke when just last week while eating out, 7 out of 8 children, who were sitting nearby with their families, were consumed with texting or gaming. There was no conversation, no laughter, no family interaction at all. There was a void- a void of family unity, of sharing wisdom and knowledge and of the connections that forge a parent’s and child’s bond.
Next time you are at the park with your children or driving in the car together, take a moment to reflect how you are spending your time with one another. Choosing to silence your devices and choosing to be playful and swing, slide and run with your child sends the very powerful message to your child that they are worthy of your love and attention. Choosing to plug in while your children become lost in the background sends a very different message. What message are you sending to your children?
©2014 Sharon Egan M.S., CPC